Wednesday
June 26, 2002
11:40 p.m.

I just put Kyle to bed. He got upset tonight because I took away his “moon video”. I couldn’t help it; the video has become such an obsession lately. He just sits there and stares at that stupid moon and the stars and asks us to rewind it over and over again. He has no interest in the other parts of the video, just the parts where the moon and stars are visible. He just sits there, staring and saying the words “moon” and “stars” over and over again. His staff from the autism agency have had problems with this for the past couple of days, too. This evening, Kyle pulled Amy’s hair because she told him “no more moon video”. It took her about a half an hour to get compliance out of Kyle. I was upstairs and heard the whole thing. She used simple imitation commands to work up the momentum she needed to get Kyle to listen to her and do what she wanted. I thought there for a second that I was going to have to intervene. Good thing Amy is a veteran worker and she knows DTT like the back of her hand, otherwise, I would have had to intervene. Tonight after she left, Kyle tried to hit me up for the video. Sometimes I don’t think we give him credit for how insidious he can really be! I told him that it was time to get ready for bed and that we could watch the “moon video” only one time tomorrow. That’s when it hit the fan. He began his little pre-behavior vocalizations and then off came his glasses. I got them from him before he could throw them at me. He reached out and tried to hit me. I just stood back away from him and started to give him imitation commands. It took me almost one hour to get him to comply and go upstairs for bed. I get so sick of this sometimes. I can’t just love and hug my child like other parents do. I can’t just send Kyle to his room when he does something that I don’t like. Sometimes I question God. I question His motives and the way He does things. I look at Keri across the street with her beautiful, healthy, and NORMAL son, Ben. The envy I feel is enough to drive me insane, but then I think about the times that Kyle asks for a hug and I realize that I’m lucky, because most parents of autistic children don’t even get that. I see Kyle’s progress in terms of behavior and learning and I see how far we’ve really come. What’s strange to me is even though I have read every single thing about autism that I can get my hands on, I still just don’t get Kyle’s behaviors. I can’t figure it out. Why does he get so fixated on the moon in that video? It’s not even a real moon, it’s a cartoon and he doesn’t do this when he sees the moon at night. All I know is that we are going to have to limit his viewing of it. Knowing Kyle, he may not even mention it tomorrow. He’s got so many obsessions that this one will probably be replaced tomorrow. Then we’ll have to deal with that one. That’s just the thing. This never ends. If it’s not videos, it’s spinning eating utensils or writing utensils or just whatever he can get his hands on. And lights, everything about lights becomes an obsession; he stares at them and tries to touch the hanging lights in the dining room. I’m so sick of having to watch his every move in the dining room because I’m afraid he’s going to touch them and be rough with them like he is with everything else. I guess I should be used to it by now, but sometimes it just drives me crazy!
Lately, Kyle’s stimming has been less and less because his staff from the agency has been trying to keep him engaged in drills and structured play. Oh…Heather and I talked today about Kyle’s behaviors in therapy. Although she said Kyle hasn’t had any major behaviors in therapy lately, he has been saying her name in a loud, high-pitched voice over and over again. She has told me that during these times she has looked away from Kyle and ignored him, and then he usually stops. When he doesn’t stop, she has been turning out the lights, which is really aversive for Kyle. Afterwards, Heather said that Kyle will begin vocalizing in a high-pitched almost screaming voice. She told me that she did something interesting to get him to stop doing this. She said that instead of going into the simple commands, she just looked at him and said “Kyle c’mon. That’s really silly. Only gentlemen with nice voices get the lights turned back on.” She said that this worked really well and that Kyle seemed to understand. I was amazed that she got him to comply in that way. I think I am going to try that approach here at home when Kyle begins vocalizing when he becomes upset. It also made me think that maybe I haven’t been giving Kyle credit. I’ve been so enraptured by the whole DTT program for almost six months now and not once since I began it have I just talked to my child normally. I’m always saying very textbook kinds of things to him just to ensure my control over the situation. Does this make me a bad mother? What have I been doing? This has really made me think. Sure DTT is great for teaching Kyle new skills and it's good for his behaviors, but is it really helping me to develop a natural and genuine relationship with him? I feel as though when I talk to Kyle, my own son, that I have been given this recipe on what to say and how to say it by people who don’t know me or my son. Maybe I should listen to Jim. He thinks that DTT is a good way to build a relationship with Kyle because we are interacting with him and we are both participating in this together with Kyle (MO-Feat, 2001). Kyle needs structure and behavior management, and DTT really works well for him. I only hope that what Jim said is true. Until next time…

Mary

Back to Genre 3: Mary's Journal Entry Part 1

Proceed to Genre 4: E-mail Exchange Part 1

Go to: Table of Contents

Monday
June 24, 2002
10:46 p.m.

Today was such a hectic day. Kyle started summer school today and the transition went fairly smooth. Jim and I have been preparing him for this for almost three days now, so he seemed to be ready to go. Kyle was quite eager to see Gina and Karla (his teachers) today. He also got really excited when he saw Heather (his SLP) today. I am so happy that these people work so well with Kyle. I will never be able to express my gratitude toward them. Heather and I discussed Kyle’s Discrete Trial Training today. We were just discussing how much he has progressed since Jim and I discovered DTT. Before DTT, Kyle’s behavior was so bad and his communication skills were very poor. I was just tired of keeping him on his medications for his behavior. When he was on Risperdal, he stayed so lethargic and gained so much weight (Tierney, 2002). When he wasn’t on medications though, he bit people, kicked and hit, pulled hair, and went into screaming fits a lot. To be honest, I was ashamed and embarrassed to take him out in public. He was a walking time-bomb, Jim and I never knew when he was going to go off. I think that DTT has given Kyle the structure he needs to maintain routine and it has given Jim and I control, which we so desperately needed. We both agree that what’s most important is having Kyle’s behavior under control so that he may flourish in other areas of his being (e.g.--communication abilities, cognitive abilities, etc.). I think Heather even said today that it's important to have his behavior under control so that Kyle can be an active participant in therapy. With DTT we have seen such awesome results in his behavior and in his learning. This is what works for us and we are not alone in thinking it is a good technique.

Mary

Back to Genre 2: "I Am Poem"

Proceed to Genre 3: Mary's Journal Entry Part 2

Go to: Table of Contents

At last, Friday, and a day off from school even!! Guess what I am doing?? That’s right...HOMEWORK!! Why do they call it Fall Break when they know good and well that we will probably be doing homework the entire weekend. I didn’t even get to sleep in!! I am so bitter. Well, anyway, check out what went on this week…

Last week, I set out to draft some of my genres and to start thinking deeply about the MRP. I have succeeded in that this week. I drafted the poem and some journal entries and am thinking about what genre I want to draft next. This week, I also set out to do more research into my topic. I did this because I feel that I have sort-of neglected this for awhile, or should I say that I have been putting it off? I decided that it was high time to begin looking more closely at articles and websites, so that my MRP will be realistic and thought-driven. Last week, I reported that I had struggled with some info. that I found during my research. This week, I set out to not let that affect the way I present my project. Even though I don’t agree with some of the techniques that I have researching, that does not mean that I can’t inform others about them and incorporate them into my genres. In fact, doing so will probably help me to see why they are used in the first place. Also, I am continuing the time-management struggle, but have found it to come more easily now that I have a set routine.

Lots of content this week (even though we only had a few assignments). I found five more interesting articles through Academic Search Elite and ERIC digests. I am in the process of having them sent to me via the IDS services here at MU. I have also been paying closer attention to the discussions that are going on in my mailing list community. Most of them have given me some great ideas for my MRP. I’ll let everyone in on what is discussed later on next week when we have to report on them. I also drafted my first two genres (other than the webliography) this week. I’ll discuss them in more detail in the process section. I read the article about the three R’s of inquiry. I found it to be a very interesting (yet long) article. I went back and looked at some Powerpoint graphics, too. I’m beginning to get ideas about how I want my presentation to look.

To be quite honest, I didn’t use that many processes this week for completing my work and if I did, then I wasn’t paying much attention to them! I guess I didn’t really have to because all assignments were pretty cut and dry. I thoroughly searched through the databases for articles and I decided to use Academic Search Elite this week since I used both ERIC and PsycINFO last week. I also tried new keywords this week during my ERIC search and I actually came up with some good results. I decided to have them delivered to me via e-mail so that I can give them a closer look. When it came to drafting two other genres, I found the processes to be rather simple. I have read so much about aspects of my topic and I also work with an autistic individual, so it was rather easy for me to do. In writing the poem, I tried to envision my client (in real life) and people’s reactions to him when we go out in public. Most of the time people know him and don’t give his disability a second thought, but others do stare, and it makes me so angry. You would think that by now people would get some sense and realize that we aren’t all the same and that yes, there are people out there that have disabilities. It fascinates me that in a world where we all claim to celebrate differences and that we have come a long way from our old ways of thinking, people can still stare at and whisper about a child who has an obvious disability. Anyway, I also envisioned myself being a parent of an autistic child (which I can’t even begin to fathom) when writing the journal entries. It came to me easily because I thought about my client’s parents and the struggles that they sometimes go through. I also incorporated some of my mailing list discussion material. Some of the parents that use this list bring up some interesting stories about their children’s behaviors. So far, this list has been pretty helpful. In regards to the prompt that we were to write for this class (the article about the three R’s of inquiry), I read the articles (over a period of three hours—it was too long for my attn. span!) and found one statement that really stuck out. I developed my prompt from that statement.

This week’s work has really made me think about what it’s really like for the families of autistic children. I kind-of already had some idea (even though I don’t think I’ll ever know) because of my working with an autistic child and seeing the struggles that his family faces. I have also come to the conclusion that even though I don’t like some of the discussions that are taking place on my discussion list (e.g.—Discussing how some SLP’s that work with some of these people’s children aren’t doing a good job at implementing the ABA programs), I have found it to be quite helpful when drafting my genres. Finally, doing this work has really made me see how close-minded people can be. I guess I have experienced this with my client (when taking him out in the community), but I have never really sat back and thought about their reactions to him. This really surprises me, because I am usually very reflective and analytical. Perhaps I just didn’t want to think about it, because honestly, it disgusts me. No matter how far we claim we have come from old ways of discriminatory thinking, there will always be very ignorant people in the world. It makes me sad. It frustrates me and it angers me; however, I know that not all people are this way and perhaps that’s what matters in the long run.

Currently, I have no questions. I looked back and found that I really didn’t have any questions from last week. I am sure that some questions will arise between now and say, tomorrow, so I will send them via the class list to be answered. Until next week…

Heather P.